NickFenton.com

Let’s take a journey. It may seem like a downer at first, but rest assured there’s a good message at the end.

When I was 11 years old I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Hodgkins Disease.  The cancer had spread to my lungs, and throughout many lymph nodes in my upper body.  I was given a 50/50 chance to live.

I went through 9 grueling months of chemotherapy and 1 month of chest radiation.  It was an awful situation for an 11-year-old, or a person of any age for that matter.

As they pumped mustard gas and God knows what other chemicals through my veins, I always stayed positive.  I’m not sure how I knew to be positive.  Was it a natural instinct, or was it something I was taught?  No clue, but something about it felt instinctive.

Throughout my treatment, I remember being told by many that I was making the impossible possible.  I was able to frequently attend my Middle School classes, my 6th Grade teachers would smile as they handed me papers with big fat A’s on them (probably a little sympathy grading going on there…lol), and my doctors would light up as they noted significant success in the treatment they were administering. I stayed as positive as an 11-year-old with a 50/50 chance to live could.

Towards the end of my 9 month chemotherapy stint, I began to get extremely sick.  The process was defeating me psychologically. I would run to my hospital room toilet and get sick as soon as they rolled the chemicals in. It got so bad that I began refusing to let my Doctor put the needle into my portacath.  My Mom always managed to talk me into it by reminding me how positive and brave I had been and telling me I was her hero.  As soon as I was reminded, I was somehow able to get out of my funk and dig up that positive attitude.

After defeating Cancer in 1992, life was great until a benign bone spicule was detected on my T5 vertebra in 1999.  Nobody knows the true origin of the bone growth, but all of my Doctor’s speculate that it was a result of the radiation treatment I had on my chest.

The bone spicule was putting pressure on my spinal cord, and would eventually take my life if it was not removed.  I had surgery in 1999 to remove it. The spicule grew back with a vengeance in 2004.  I had surgery once again in 2004 to remove the bone spicule.

The 2004 surgery was rough! Most of my T5 vertebra was removed and replaced with a titanium cage.  The cage was filled with grinded rib bone, taken from a piece of my rib that they broke off during the surgery.  They had to dislocate my shoulder in order to obtain the best angle of entry, and rods were placed from T2-T10 to ensure spine stability.  Let’s just say I got the shit kicked out of me.

I stayed positive and bounced back.

The bone spicule grew back AGAIN in 2008.  The first attempt to remove it in June was unsuccessful, but they did manage to remove my rods.  The second attempt in August was successful.

My nerves have been so badly beaten over the years that I now have numbness in my legs, awful balance, inability to run,  and a constant sharp pain in my lower right back. Do I complain? Rarely. Do I let this affect my ability to live a happy life? No way. Do I stay positive? Absofuckinlutely!

I mean come on! There are people out there that have no legs, that have no sight, that have no shelter.  I don’t focus on the constant pain and limitations I am faced with, I focus on all the great things I am blessed with.  I don’t dwell on the risks of spine surgery when they arise, I look the Neurosurgeon in the eye and say “You got this man.  Let’s do it!”

I’m not looking for any sympathy here, I simply want to make some good out of my life’s challenges.  I want to encourage you.  If I can stay positive and bounce back from all life has thrown at me, you can too.

Like I say in Backroad’s song ‘Hard Times‘; “Sometime’s it’s hard to keep your head up, but you gotta try. Keepin’ a positive vibe is one of the secrets to stayin’ alive.”

Think Positive. Be Positive. Stay Positive.